A really depressing blast from the past.

I went to my mother’s house tonight to look through her old hope chest with her.  I’ve been quick to say that I’ve never wrote anything before SLAMMED, but boy was I wrong.  In fact, there were so many stupid, pointless things of mine from the past in that chest that I could probably make a book out of all of it.  But since most of it was stupid and pointless, I’ll spare you the agony.  Instead, I’ll just post some of it from time to time here on the blog so y’all can laugh with me.

Out of all the things I found, this myspace blog post was my favorite because I couldn’t have been more depressing.  Why would my mother have my myspace blog posts saved, you ask?  Because she saves everything.  And back when I actually used myspace, she didn’t have a computer. I would print out my blog posts and give them to her.  Luckily, she kept them all, maybe knowing how silly they would be someday.  Here’s a pic of the title of this 2006 blog post.

writingfail

 

I’m going to share this blog post with you…all the way back from 2006.  Fair warning:  This is a really sad, pessimistic post about not following your dreams.  Good thing I didn’t listen to myself.  It also says a helluva lot about how much the publishing industry has changed.

 

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Well, in a matter of minutes my whole outlook on my future has changed.  I have been pondering the thought of writing a book.  Actually, I haven’t been pondering.  No.  I’m certain I was born to write a book.  The obsession I’ve had with the thought that I’m not doing what I was meant to do has caused me to hate college, hate having to get up and go to work, and hate the thought that I still haven’t started writing a book yet.  Because that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?  

I’ve been doing a lot of research.  Not about what to write, but about if it’s worth it.  And based on my research, I’ve learned that my dreams are just that.  Dreams.  

There are only a handful of individuals who actually make enough money off of a book to quit their day job.  On top of that, even when people do write books, the advances are really small.  Unless you magically get picked for Oprah’s book club, a writer’s chances of success are minimal. Impossible, even.  

The time spent writing and editing and trying to sell your book to a publisher and the actual money you make working on all of this calculates to earning about .50 cents a day for an average writer. 

I’ve always believed that I would look back on my life when I’m old and be disappointed in myself for never writing that book I was meant to write.  But…now I won’t be.  I’ll be proud of myself for coming to this realization at only 26 years old.  I’ll be glad that I didn’t waste all those years writing and editing and waiting on a publishing deal, only to be let down.  And honestly, I don’t seek notoriety or fame.  That actually terrifies me. I only seek appreciation for my intellectual oddities, and I get that from you guys on a regular basis.  So…I think I’ll just stop dreaming now.  Or maybe not.  The important thing is, I now have a different outlook on my future, and that is to never set goals.  That way, I’ll never be disappointed in myself.  So from now on, I’m just going to write if I feel like writing and not feel guilty if I don’t.   Sometimes a dose of reality is good for you. 

 

Wow.  Who knew?  I don’t even remember writing this.  It kinda makes me sad, but at the same time, grateful.  At the time I had no idea what the future would hold.  But I can’t help but wonder if I had actually followed my dreams back when publishing was next to impossible–would I have never attempted it again?  Who knows.  Like Julia always says, never regret.

And here’s a sneak peek picture of my next blast from the past I’ll be posting.  Apparently I was so bored the week my mother left for her seven-day cruise in 2009, I wrote her a play-by-play of what she missed while she was away.  And what’s funny is, not a damn thing happened while she was gone, yet I managed to still write ten pages.

writingfail2

59 thoughts on “A really depressing blast from the past.

  1. Haha wow that is too funny. Let me just say, I am thankful to you for your gift of writing. I love slammed point of retreat and hopeless and cannot wait for holders point of view of hopeless and the third in the slammed series. I love them all and have read them multiple times. Dreams do come true and you’re proof!! Xx

  2. I wouldn’t be sad that you wrote it. Like you said, it shows how much things have changed. And it shows that the fire in you wasn’t dimmed by the pessimism of that point in time. That was about the same time I started writing a book for the first time and I probably had the same thoughts. You are one of the people who helped give me the courage to try it again and I’m eternally grateful I took the chance on myself!

    I can’t wait to read more of your old posts.

  3. Weird thing is everything you have said is what I’ve been feeling. I feel as if I have to write but havent ever been a writer but now all I wamt to do is write and tell my stories…maybe one day ill dream big enough

  4. Soooo glad you didn’t listen to your self. Your books always capture my heart in ways others can’t. Keep up the great work!

    Fawn@ Swoon Worthy Books

  5. OMG!! Everything you wrote is exactly how I am feeling lately. Man, is it good to know that I am not the only one. I have learned to live my dreams but actually following it is another story but I can’t say I am not trying. ;)

    Thank you so much for this post. Brought another smile on my face. :D

    Can’t wait to more of your old posts!

  6. I am glad you didn’t listen to yourself back then. You did get to achieve your dream and about the part of not feeling guilty if you don’t write…I want you to feel guilty if you don’t, because sometimes a dose of reality is good for you…. we want more of Colleen Hoover…..can’t get enough of you, your books, and characters….Isn’t it amazing how people change over the years……Even though your 2006 blog says otherwise of you, I see you as a very happy, bubbly, easy to get to know kind of person, but as they say, you are who you are today because of who you were yesterday.

  7. That made me want to cry. I’m glad you don’t remember writing that because the world and literature would be a little less bright without you <3

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