Come here, little sister. We have candy.

My little sister (she’s twenty-something) just got engaged last night to a man-boy (he’s twenty-something as well and very sister-marrying worthy.)

My little sister (who we will call Murphy, because that’s her name) lives in Wyoming.  You know, that state that barely exists?  Well, (I’m talking to you now, Murphy) you (and man-boy fiance) are about to become full-fledged Texas residents soon.  And just to welcome you to Texas, bigger sister (Lin) and I (big sister) have spent the day stalking your new neighborhood, taking pictures of things we feel might get you a little more excited about moving to Tyler, Texas TEXASS!

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First thing first, we need to assure you that there are many fun things to do in Tyler, Texas TEXASS.  Things such as SHOP.  Even though I hate to shop, bigger sister loves it so the two of you should have fun.  Here are the stores we shopped at today that are right in your new neighborhood!

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Yes.  That’s an ULTA!  The one place I might actually LIKE to shop.

And just in case you need to pray about your shopping addiction or need some Jesus flavored candy, we found this Christian bookstore tucked away next to ULTA.

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And I know you are sad about leaving all your family behind in that other sta (I can’t even finish the word ‘state’ because Wyoming is barely such) look what Tyler, Texas TexASS has!  A UPS STORE! Right in your new neighborhood (of which you have yet to see.) This way, you can always have your mom send you presents and money and other stuff, so you won’t feel so homesick.

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And if your heart ever unhardens, you can buy gifts at all the stores in your new neighborhood.  Here are some gifts big sister and bigger sister like, in case you need inspiration:

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Chi!  ^^^

And cheap perfume.  They have Pure and Chanel for next to nothing (but closer to $100).

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And there is a mall with a store that sells the bestest shirts ever in the whole wide world like this one! If you can ever find it in my size, then buy it for me, okay?

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And if you and man-boy (We’ll call him Nick since that’s his name) ever get tired of staring into each other’s eyes, you can go down the road and watch a movie.  Cuz look!  Here’s a cinema where you can watch moooovies!

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And if you get bored with the movie, you can leave because right next door is TIMES SQUARE!  (Not the real one, but you can see in this pic that it’s just as cool.)

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But if you get bored at Times Square (which you probably will if you don’t want to visit a dry cleaners or a gas station) then you can always go eat Sushi where they have waiters that look just like Will Cooper!!!

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But then you will remember that Will Cooper is a fictional character, and that said waiter’s name is actually Lloyd and he’s a really cool photographer who knows who The Avett Brothers are and loves Slam Poetry. (So we’ll call him Will Cooper, even though his name is Lloyd.)

Here’s Will Cooper showing me a picture of his…awesome photography skills.  (Get a website, Lloyd.  Cuz if you had one I could have linked it here. GO BE IT!)

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Oh!  And of course there’s this fancy (or very normal) apartment that Bigger sister and Big sister stalked today, where you will be living in a few weeks.  You haven’t seen it yet because you are way up there ^^^ in barely there, Wyoming.  So we took pictures of it while we were there.  This is bigger sister walking into the manager’s office.

Look!  Christmas cheer!

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And inside the office, they have COFFEE!  If you ever get tired or something.

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I don’t look very happy there^^^, but it’s only because I don’t like coffee.

My favorite part of your new apartment complex is the mixed signals.   Like for instance, you have rich people:

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But then you have broken lights:

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So it’s sort of hard to tell if you live in a nice neighborhood or not.  But it’s okay if you don’t, because you have Chinese restaurants that like apostrophes and being open on religious holidays!!!

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And one cool thing about people getting their own apartment is that they get a mailbox.  But you and man-boy get something even BETTER!  You get a whole entire box in a Postal CENTER!!!

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And once you get past the postal center and walk around the corner, don’t be frightened by their monster, amazon sized bushes.  They took me and bigger sister by surprise.

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But if you can make it past the bushes, you will come to your very own apartment, which has a very tasty front door.  Just ask bigger sister.

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Oh!  I can’t forget the fact that your new apartment complex not only comes with coffee and neighbors that drive Range Rovers, but it also has a workout room!

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I’m pretty sure you are going to love it here in Tyler, Texas Texass.  Of course, we ARE sisters and with the three of us being so close, I’m sure we’ll have stressful moments like this one, where bigger sister was really sick of me stopping for random photo ops.

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But even if we do fight and kick each other’s asses and break each other’s legs, it’s okay because they have this: Handicapped parking!

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So.  There you have it.  All these wonderful things to look forward to when y’all (and y’all have to start saying y’all) move to Texas.  But….and this is a BIG but….out of all these inanimate objects that are here waiting for you, nothing is excited to see you as this:

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So hurry the hell up and come play, already.  Big sister and bigger sister miss you.

50 Comments

Awww that was so sweet of ya’ll to do for your baby sis.

You forgot to put a picture of Santa Land. We went on Saturday December 22, 2012, BAD idea. We gor there at 7:30 pm and didn’t get in until 11:15 pm. We had a 2 year old, 3 year old and a 4 year old who were all going to sleep by the time we entered. Next year we will go around Thanksgiving.

Holy shit that was funny!!!

I live in Wyoming too! And one of my best friends live in Austen. She always says that Wyoming is like a mini-Texas…Now is that an oxymoron or what!!. Congrats to Little Sister on her engagement!!

How utterly charming. I’m guessing there’ll never be a dull day in Tyler, Texas once you 3 reunite! =D

Great post!! I used to live in Tyler!! El Mercado is still one of my all-time favorite Mexican resteraunts!

I was cracking up at all the pictures! Looks like ya’ll had a blast around town

ERMAHGERD I butterflying love this post!!! Hurry up little sister and get over to your big sister and bigger sister, y’all are gonna have the bestest time! I wish I had sisters like these! So funny!

If that’s not the best “ad” to entice your lil sis to come on down, I don’t know what else y’all (and I am southern, I can say that :) ) could possibly do! If I didn’t like where I live so much, I would want to move there — but you didn’t show any ice skating rinks :( .

Bahahaha! This is the funniest thing ever! How fun and cool of you two to do! I bet your (little) sister is HAPPY to have you two!

I love it! Congrats to Murphy. Big and Bigger Sister are Awesome!!!

You guys are the best sisters ever! Little sister (and hubby-to-be) are probably feeling so much better about the move.

Lovely post!! Very entertaining.

Awesome!! I got married in Tyler, TX like almost 11 years ago. Me and my husband lived in Lindale (which is about 1/2 hour away). You forgot to tell her about the Rose Garden in Tyler. It’s beautiful (also where I had my reception). Sooooo many good memories from Tyler. Great mexican food at Mercados and good cheap pizza over at Buck’s. Also, a wide variety of wildlife (aka large BUGS which could certainly pass as animals). My husband and I donated a tarantula that we found in apartment to the local zoo. I wonder if it’s still alive? Anyhoo, I hope your sister loves it to pieces. I have such fond memories from Tyler. And congrats to her for her engagement!! Sharing life with someone you love it the best :)

And love your real-life Will Cooper! Lmao!

That was butterflying fantastic! Sooo incredibly cute and funny!

That was fabulous! I have a cheshire grin and teary eyes… some more mixed signals

LMAO , Love it Colleen :) , Aww Murphy you have a Beeemazing lil sister & big sister , I agree with lil sister , she needed more than an ” I can wait” lol :) This Blog is Great

Will you be my sister? I only have three younger brothers but I always wanted a sister! I think I would even leave CT for TX after that post! :)

That’s one Big-TexAss welcome! From one little sister to another, CONGRATS on your engagement! I got a big sister and a bigger sister, too. There’s nothin’ like sisterly love!!!

Cute♡♥♡♥

This post has made ME want to move. Sounds like your a great big sister Colleen and have awesome sisters yourself!

That was so awesome!!!! Little sister is very lucky….or baby shishee as my big shishee calls me :-D

You crack me up! Very nice of you to show your sister around! Clever idea!

Mimi Kempenaar van Rijn December 15, 2012 at 8:43 PM

You two crack me up :). Lynn looks more and more like your mom in these pics. Looks like you guys had fun. Wyoming huh, Heidi’s nieghbors are from Laramie.

Omg. Love. And now I seriously wish I had a sis. :/ you’re gonna have so much fun in texass! :) can’t wait to hear all about it!!! Haha

That was so awesome makes me wanna be a sister too! Makes me miss mybig sister and my little sister even more:(

I love your posts! You really are so funny lol! And you’re a great big sis =D

I’m even more bummed I didn’t make it to your Beaumont book signing. This is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. I really hope it convinces her to move to Texas. We need more awesome people like you here.

Your little sister is so lucky to have you for a big funny sister. I don’t have any sisters & always wished I did but I do love my 3 brothers. Makes me glad though that my girls have each other.

I really loved this post to your sister. Makes me wish I had sisters too growing up. You have a lucky little sister to have two big sisters who care so much. Bless you all.

I sure do miss Tyler especially now that you mention all those good places!! Congrats on small sister and man boy on their engagement!

I can’t wait!!

This is a fantastic post!! :-)

LMAO! So well done! Love it, and congrats to Murphy and Nick on their engagement too!

Ugh… I must be going through like super early menopause or something bc I’m super emotional. And this post came |–| close to making me cry. Bah! But then the Christma’s buffet sign cleared that up. That’s all :)

Love this post!! I, too, am one of 3 girls and got to spend my entire day with both of my sisters!!! Family is so important.

This really makes my day. I’m 25 and I have two brothers, one is 28 and one is 7[yes, seven]. My older brother and I were really close growing up, but sadly my mother and two brothers live in Florida and I lived in Rhode Island for the past 8 years. I recently decided to move back to FL to be close to my mom and brothers. And I am so excited I’ve been counting down the days. [Sorry for the super long story!]

Thanks for sharing! You’re awesome. And, yowza, Will Cooper ;]

Oh man, I love this. Do you want to adopt me as your sister too? ha ha

Love it! I grew up not far from Tyler and you made me homesick. I’m up in Washington DC now.

Congrats to the little sister and the man-boy! May they have many many many happy years in front of them!

OMG I couldn’t stop laughing as I was scrolling through this! I wish I had a big and bigger sister!!

That made me perk up and smile

I used to live in Pinedale, Wyoming! There’s nothing for miles but truly breath taking.

Awwww!!! LOL! Nice catchy way of getting your sister near by ;D

Luv this post! After I graduated high school I lived in Tyler for two years. It’s where met the hubs, spent many nights drunk dancing on bar tops and being wild! Lots of memories from Tyler;) congrats to your sister!

Awww, that is so sweet! Great idea. Hope you’ve convinced her! :D

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