I never claimed to be the best mom…

My youngest, Beckham, is honest to a fault.  I can read him like a book.  My middle child, Cale, is a completely different story.  He stumps me.  Half the time he’s being serious, I laugh because I think he’s joking.  When he’s making a joke, my heart stops because I think he’s serious.  You would think this means I don’t “get” Cale’s sense of humor, but it’s quite the opposite.  I think we are so completely alike, that I find it hard to believe that an eight-year-old can be on the same level with me.  Maybe that says something about me.   My oldest, Levi, is completely and utterly straight-forward.  Sarcasm is a waste of time to him.  He puts me in my place a little more often than a child should.

Back to Beckham.  This morning he comes out of his bedroom and marches up to my husband and says, “Daddy, can I say bastard or is bastard a bad word?”

Okay, before I tell you my husband’s response, you must first know my views on cursing.  Kiersten’s views?  Totally mine.  They’re just words.  My children could damn and shit and hell their vocabulary to death, and I honestly wouldn’t care.  Unfortunately, society does…so they don’t.  Damn the man!

My husband is a little more conventional.  He looks at Beckham and says, “Well, bastard isn’t really a cussword, but you shouldn’t say it.”

“What does bastard mean?” Beckham asks.  All the while, I’m trying not to laugh.  I’m sorry, but hearing the word come out of his seven-year-old mouth is just disturbingly cute.

“It’s what some people call it when a child doesn’t have a dad,” my husband explains.  “But lots of kids don’t have dad’s and it isn’t their fault, so that’s why you shouldn’t say it.”

“Huh,” Beckham says, still obviously confused.  He walks back into the bedroom and says to his brothers.  “Hey, guys, we can say it. Daddy said bastard isn’t really a bad word.”

Ahh, the way children interpret our responses is amusing.


23 thoughts on “I never claimed to be the best mom…

  1. Oh i so can relate to this. I have three boys (21, 20, and 14) and the stuff that used to come out of their mouths would make me laugh but since i was supposed to be the adult i would keept it inside until my husband and i were alone. Being a parent means you never have a dull moment.

  2. This is very similar to my boys. They’re 6 and 9 and the things they say….I can’t help but laugh sometimes! If I can’t answer the question, or just don’t want to, I tell them to ask their father because he knows everything in the world. Works like a charm.

  3. Love it….a story about my middle child, brett, he was 8 at the time. He is very sensetive and he knows right from wrong so when people do wrong it upsets him something terrible. Cursing is one thing that gets him very worked up. “Why do they even invent curse words mom?” So you can image my surprise when me and my three kids are all in the car when I hear my sweet sensetive son say “damn”. I have my sun glasses on so he can’t see me watching him in the rear view mirror. My mouth drops open. Well leave it to my oldest, brooke, 11, to correct him. ” brett, you can’t say that, its a bad word” she’s in a panic looking at me for my reaction. “No its not” brett tells her, ” damn it, is the bad word”.

  4. lmao, love it, kids are the best, though mine fight 24-7 i wouldnt chage anything, because the moment i hear them say something i know why i am here, and why i am their mother :)

  5. I miss those young days… My daughters are 25 and 21 now. There’s talk of a possible marriage next year for my oldest and the eventual move-out of the next of my youngest. Time flies so enjoy it while you can.

    My youngest came home from school one day VERY upset because a young boy at school had cussed at her. I asked, “What did he say?” “The S-word,” she replied. So, my mind swirled around at the possibilities…. “What is THE S-word, honey?” I asked her. “Shut up,” was her reply she rolled her eyes to indicate I was quite possibly the dumbest mother on the planet. :) Oh, how precious she used to be. Now she has a potty mouth that would make a sailor blush. (Just like her momma.)

  6. So love it!!!

    I am the same way I feel words are words. Plus my husband is a mechanic and talks like one. Hard to tell the kids not to swear when every other word out of my husband would be considered a “swear” word. Could also be when I was growing up I would get slapped if I even said damn so I am not as strict. My kids know enough about manner to not do it around the wrong people. My mother in law would probably murder me if she knew I never react to swear words after my kids hit 12. There are only one word I do not like and will not allow and that is what my kids call the “C” word.
    Maybe I am a bad parent but my philosophy is to not sweat the small stuff. So what if my kid dies their hair pink, green, or orange it can grow out. Who care if the boys want to pierce their ears, or get a small tattoo where no one can see it. I am concerned with the bigger stuff like drugs, alcohol, and sex. Those to me are the ones to worry over lecture about.

  7. You’ve given me yet another laugh! So here’s my kids+cussing story… One day my husband, (then) 8 yr old daughter, and I had just got in the car to leave the video store when my sweet, innocent little girl says, “What does f*@$ the world mean?” The hubby and I both sputtered incoherently for a moment before we realized there was a eighteen wheeler stopped at the light with lovely said phrase spray painted down the side. Nice.

  8. ok… so glad you posted that story. It makes me feel better to know that my opinion of such words is not unaccompanied. My kids are 9,7 and 5 and out of the mouths of babes as they say. Thank you for that.

  9. I think any parent can appreciate this post. I also have three kids and there is no telling what will come out of any of their mouths, especially my five year old!

  10. I feel the same about cuss words and have explained to my 12 and 9 yr olds that they need to learn when to use and when not to use them. Their solution is to “bleep” themselves. So they will actually say “what the bleep?”

  11. Hey Colleen :-) I actually just popped over here to check out your blog after reading a tid-bit “starring you” on 30 Day Books. Needless to say just this post alone has me hooked (1 have 4 children and lets just say I fully understand and appreciate how children never fail to entertain, amuse, and amaze!). It’s a joy meeting you and I look forward to catching up with your previous and future posts, and getting to know your books.

  12. Great stories…as a 1st grade teacher and mother of 3 (twin 8 year olds and a 5 year old) I am constantly entertained. I have way too many stories to share, but here’s the latest:
    Zaiden (my 5 year old son): “Wow, that girl’s hot!”
    Zandria (one of my 8 year olds): “No, Zaiden. You can’t say girls are hot. It’s a bad word until you become an adult!”

  13. when my youngest was 3 or so, my husband took him to the local pizza joint. three points between home and the line to order, cute little matthew asked his father “dad, is f&*# you a bad word?” “so I can’t say f&*# you?” “Will I get in trouble if I say f&#* you?” to this day, we still cannot figure out where he heard it in the first place. it’s been a great party story in the 5 years since it happened!

  14. Thank you for giving me a ton of stuff to laugh at this morning at work! I love it! Yes, I too am a cusser…and I think it’s hilarious when little kids say stuff…even though it’s somewhat offensive. :-)

    Props to your hub though… I’m sure he did all of that with the straightest of faces!

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