I survived Ikea. Barely.

I HATE shopping.  HATE it.  I know, I know.  I’m a girl, I’m not supposed to hate things like that.  But I get really annoyed and overwhelmed and most of the time just panic and leave.

Case in point:  I went to a local grocery store the other day and couldn’t think of what we needed by the time I started shopping.  I’m really bad at remembering lists.  Lets just say by the time I made it out the door, I had five bags of shredded cheese and nothing else.  That was the day my husband banned me from doing the grocery shopping.

So when my older sister called a few days ago, almost on the verge of hysteria because of her brilliant plan, I cringed.

She was taking me to IKEA.  I have successfully avoided IKEA for 32 years.  When I told her I’d never been she squealed and said, “Oh!  Colleen!  My heart just fluttered!”

Yeah.  My sister and I are night and day.

So, yesterday was the day we went to IKEA.  I had a list of things I needed for the new house.  People have told me not to get anything at IKEA, while others LOVE IKEA.  My thinking is, IKEA is a step up to where I’ve shopped for household stuff in the past.  Which is NOWHERE.  I usually just take the things my sister, Lin, doesn’t want anymore.  Our couches used to be hers, my wall art used to be hers, my dishes used to be hers and I’m pretty sure the down comforter we’ve used for seven years was hers at one point.  This was the first time I’ve ever shopped for actual non-hand me down stuff.  And here was my first purchase.  :)

 

Got this giraffe and shoved him in a birdcage and bought it.  Who wouldn’t want a giraffe in a birdcage?  The day was starting well, and IKEA wasn’t even open yet.  My sister was so excited, she was fidgeting and grinning like an idiot the whole way there.  See?

Okay, maybe this post was AFTER Ikea when she got a little tipsy at lunch.  But still…this is pretty much how she looked the entire day.  And she’s VEGAN now, so she couldn’t partake in the meatballs everyone told me about.  Honestly, I hated the IKEA meatballs.  But here’s a pic, anyway.

 

And my very favorite purchase of the day was this picture.  It’s HUGE and makes no sense and will look perfect in my living room on the wall where my giraffe in a birdcage will be.

 

 

And this is my car, Cooper, AFTER our trip to IKEA.

I have to admit, it wasn’t as awful as I had imagined, but I did almost panic when we walked inside and had to read freaking INSTRUCTIONS on how to shop at IKEA.  What store is so complicated that there are instructions??  I will say this–I wouldn’t have made it five minutes if it weren’t for Lin.  That’s why she was born first.

<3   So thank you, Sister, for popping my IKEA cherry.  It was sort of fun, but I hope I never, ever have to go back.

 

 

 

18 responses to “I survived Ikea. Barely.

  1. ROFLMAO – you never fail to crack me up every time I read your posts!!!! And I think the giraffe in a birdcage is pretty butterflying cool :-P

  2. I think everyone has a love-hate relationship with IKEA. If you ever find yourself there again, go for the cinnamon rolls in the market. Best purchase I’ve ever made at IKEA and no confusing directions included. ;)

  3. I have to say I love IKEA. Not for everything, just some stuff! For my husband and I the furniture is cheap and will work well until we are a little more established! My favorite bookshelves are from there as well as some awesome cutting boards. The $3 wok is the best!

  4. Oh goodness, girl! From one extreme to another! IKEA is not for the faint of heart! Hilarious.

  5. If you were to walk in my house you would think you had just walked into a small IKEA show room. Its not that we liked it so much that we wanted to furnish our entire house there, its just what we could afford so it is what we have until we can upgrade. That being said, I’ve come to love most of my IKEA furniture… mostly because I know the struggle that I went through putting most of it together with my own hands and the satisfaction I felt when I had uber-tooled my way to a chair that didn’t fall apart when I sat in it and bookshelves that actually held books! Unfortunately, my most vivid memory of IKEA is when I actually had a stroke in the basement when I had stopped by on my lunch hour one Thursday to pick up some picture frames for my nursery. Yes, an actual stroke when I was 8 months pregnant all by myself in IKEA. The people who worked there were so helpful and caring, shoveling cinanmmon rolls and soda down my throat trying to get color back in my face. I think they were all butterflying scared that a big pregnant woman was going to die in their store. Anyway, I later found out I had a blood clotting disorder which caused my neurological episode, but I have refused to return because due to sheer mortification that they have used the video of me passing out in their employee training videos . Now I have to do all of my IKEA shopping online :)

  6. LOL! The worst part f Ikea is trying to put the furniture together! It will really test your marriage! My hubby and I have put together several pieces of furntiture from there, and it is not a pretty sight!!

  7. LMAO COLLEEN, YOUR SOOOO FUNNY LOVE THE picture & LOVE THE giraffe in a birdcage (its UNIQUE LIKE you) :)

  8. You’re the one who put that poor giraffe inside of the birdcage?!

    p.s. BWWAAAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAA!!!

  9. Thank you for putting flashback images in my head… -shudders- even though IKEA have the arrows on the floor, it will get you lost and into a dead end.. I freaked one of the last times I went… I was 14…. Kept my eyes on the arrows on the floor.. Ended up in a hallway with no way out… Cept the way I came… Point is, the arrows didn’t stop at the dead end.. Now why oh why would someone so sadistic do such a thing!? Lmao

  10. Love the giraffe…. But maybe not in a birdcage lol! I have yet to go to Ikea, it’s just too far away from home and there is too much temptation to buy stuff I can’t afford :-)

  11. BAHAHAHAHAHA literally just spit my drink out of my mouth when i saw a picture of your caged giraffe.

    butterflying hilarious!!!

    first IKEA purchase?
    nailed it.

  12. Pingback: Bookish Specials: The reason(s) I fell in love with Colleen Hoover·

  13. Pingback: Ikea hoovers | My2shoppe·

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