I’m such a book ho.

I just give my goods out for free.  But since you all are pimpin’ it so beautifully, it’s the least I can do.  How about we give Nickelback a break and make this giveaway all about Mr. Chuck Norris.  Give me your best Chuck Norris comment, and I’ll draw two winners from the comments at random tomorrow to get BOTH signed books.

 

58 Comments

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

When Chuck does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just ‘The Islands’

Chuck Norris went swimming in the sea. He didn’t get wet… the ocean got Chuck Norrised.

The Avett Brothers chose their favourite line of poetry. It went, “Chuck Norris.” ;) :)

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a funny bone. It tried to make him laugh so he ripped it out.

Chuck Norris had sex b4 his dad bahaha I love it !!!

When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: “What is courage?” Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse on the chin. It’s descendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen SanDiego is

The gnomes in Chuck Norris’ garden are real.
Their just too afraid to move.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

And a last one, because I love pinterest: https://pinterest.com/pin/230950287111178560/
Good night, y’all ~

This is good too: Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

I love this “Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits” Like a vampire :D

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know it as Red Bull..
OR
SuperMan wears Chuck Norris underpants!!
Love Chuck Norris jokes :-)

Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour! That’s my favorite one!

But this one is the best: Chuck Norris can understand women!

Email: shanaboo209 [at] YAHOO [dot] COM

Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian.

(can’t resist Chuck Norris facts)

Chuck Norris Never Puts His Foot In His Mouth. He Put’s It In Yours…

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone…

Chuck Norris bought a broken pickup truck and now it known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn’t tea bag, he potatoe sacks!!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity…..twice.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afriad to move.
Lily Sooklal
lilypi719(at)gmail(dot)com

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding! :D

Alyssa <3
lilleetleet(at)verizon(dot)net

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them. But, I’m absolutely positive that he would read Colleen’s books!

here’s one i found, thought it was cute….

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

if you spell chuck Norris wrong on google it doesn’t say , “did you mean chuck Norris” it simply says run why you still have the chance.

I love Chuck Norris! <3

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris didn’t call the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

debi01760@hotmail.com

Oh come on!!! Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor!!! If he was a God, he would come to my house and slap my head to the keyboarjkei76hdnkg
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patricia nesbitt May 20, 2012 at 6:26 PM

Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

patricia nesbitt May 20, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

You sure love to give away books. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to give away books, he just prints them on brain demand.

patricia nesbitt May 20, 2012 at 6:20 PM

They once made a “Chuck Norris” brand toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe. He holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. How creepy, stalkerish is that lol

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer….too bad he never cries :( LOL

The Boogey man checks his closet before bed for Chuck Norris!

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